Some of you may have noticed I fell off the blog face of the earth…again. In terms of both reading and writing. So sorry, friends, for neglecting you. Allow me to explain my whereabouts with somewhat vague honesty.
For the first week or two after Ruby was born I had what I would call a solid case of the baby blues. But after those first couple weeks I started to feel better. Not “cured” per say, but better. As prescribed.
Ruby was no longer refusing to breastfeed. I had managed to walk out my front door. Sure there was a lot to figure out, but that’s what we were doing little by however little. I felt cautiously optimistic that I would continue on the trajectory of “better.”
Then about three weeks ago I fell off the earth, into what I would call the baby blacks. A place far darker than anything I’ve seen before. (Including being dumped by my first love for his pregnant ex-girlfriend and…MIDDLE SCHOOL.)
Of course I feel like I should be overcome by love, joy and gratitude. And, of course, I feel guilty that I do not. That I feel, if anything, the opposite.
And so I will also apologize to those of you coming to the blog hoping to find an update on our youngest family member. Instead you get to hear about ME, as I try and claw my way back up to the surface.