Try walking a day in my pants

You win some, you lose some. This is life.

I’ve had the pleasure of dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety. Did I say pleasure? Because what I meant to say was it sucks. On the other hand, I look fairly good for having a 4 month old baby. I blame it on a combination of genetics and exercise. I would argue that it’s easier to lose weight than depression. I might also wager that a tight waistband is less painful. But, hey, that’s just me.

So I get a lot of this:

Other person: …and you look great! Have you lost all the weight?

Me: Thanks! I’m actually about 10 pounds heavier than I was before I got pregnant.

That’s when the other person acts as if I just told them I wanted to lose 200 pounds and become the first person to have negative mass. Some of these people also go on to proclaim that I, “hardly ever eat!”

And I’ve had about enough of this. So to all the other people out there, here’s some advice.

Don’t do that.  It’s annoying.  Now let’s all take a step back and remind ourselves of the facts.  You asked a very straight forward, yes or no question.  I’m sorry to disappoint you but the answer is no.  Furthermore, there is no disputing the data. Before I got pregnant I weighed 1XX.  Now I weigh 1XX+10.  It’s basic math. No matter how hard you try to disagree with me, this is not subjective.

I would also like to point out that you actually have no idea how much I eat.  Let’s, once more, survey the data.  I run 20 miles a week, breastfeed and haven’t lost a pound since Ruby was 2 weeks old.  Clearly I eat.  Would you ever tell someone they eat too much?  No, because that would be inappropriate.  Guess what?  You’re inappropriate.

How about one more indisputable piece of information?  At both 1XX and 1XX+10 my BMI falls under the category of “normal”, and my percent body fat falls under the category of “athletic.”

So I’m sorry if you feel bad about your own weight, shape or size. Just please don’t take it out on me.  I have enough crap of my own to deal with.


12 thoughts on “Try walking a day in my pants

  1. So true! I’ve never had a baby, but I’m small and have received all variants of similar comments about my weight and healthy habits. Like you, I want to respond with something that addresses their weight or behavior. I’ve even had people tell me what supplements I should take, and I’m like, ” oh, you’re a doctor, now!”. Annoying doesn’t cover it.

    • I had people make comments about my weight before I got pregnant too. I truly do not understand why people think it’s acceptable to tell someone they’re underweight when it’s clearly not okay to tell someone they’re overweight. I’m no doctor but I’m sure you’re perfectly healthy.

  2. Tooooooootally understand. First of all, when did it become appropriate to comment on your weight just because you had a baby?? It’s like touching you when you’re pregnant. LEAVE ME ALONE. Next time a heavier person tells you that you “hardly ever eat” you should say, “maybe you should try it.”

    (Also, I would never actually say that to anyone *reference last post about not standing up for myself against peoples’ out of line comments) But I would sure as hell want to say it!

    Although I haven’t seen you, I’m sure you look great and you eat whenever you’re hungry and that is GOOD ENOUGH.

    • I thought you might be able to relate to this one. And good point! Why does pregnancy suddenly make weight an acceptable conversation topic? I like your response though! (Even if I would also never say it.)

  3. Then, when you loose all the weight it has nothing to do with waking up at 5am 6 days a week and working your butt off, you are just one of those ‘lucky’ people who bounce right back! I hate when people comment on weight. Especially after a baby, because when someone tells me ‘holy crap, you look great’, what I hear is ‘you were a total fat ass a few months ago’.

  4. I am pretty sure that there is no way of talking about weight without ending pissing on at least one, more frequently both, of the involved parties. I would probably be in the category that feels bad about their weight currently, for no other’s responsibility than mine, but that’s why I consciously stay away from conversations like this. Even when random people initiate them. Why can’t people just mind their own business?

  5. My second baby is 10 months old and I am STILL getting the weight comments! Like people are just utterly amazed that I became a human being again after having a baby and this gives them the right to say “wow, have you lost all the weight?” I refuse to weigh myself because the weight didn’t fall off me this time like it did with my first and I think I’m holding onto a bit of weight while bf’ing this time and stepping on the scale was making me nutty. I tell people I don’t care about my weight and I’m just happy to be healthy.
    I haven’t looked through your blog, but I also wanted to comment on the ppd/anxiety. I had it with my first and I do think that’s part of why my weight fell off so fast. I didn’t eat and I was depressed. I am SO sorry you have to deal with it. I hope you’re getting help. I did and felt SO SO SO much better and managed to stave off any ppd/anxiety after my second as well with a good Psychiatrist, understanding OB, and good med management. Hang in there. It gets better. I promise!

    • Nothing wrong with staying off the scale! Sounds like you’re healthy!

      So sorry to hear you had to deal with PPD! I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I am in therapy for it and that’s helping. I honestly don’t know how some women fight it so long on their own. I was truly going crazy. My state of being when I first yelled help was so unsustainable.

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