Unhappy new year

“YES!! I CAN HEAR YOU!! WHY CAN’T YOU HEAR ME???” I yelled this into the phone. Loudly. And, yes of course, I started to cry. I didn’t understand how this was happening. I had used the land line. The phone we have only for emergencies. You know, so we don’t have to worry about cell phone reception.

“Ms. Ratherthecouch, can you hear me? I’m going to hang up now and try calling you back.” This wasn’t happening. The phone number on file was my husband’s cell and HE WAS AT WORK.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. The new year didn’t start with a call to the pediatric advice nurse. I was actually calling about myself when I phoned Kaiser at 7:30 am on January 1, 2013. And since it was a holiday, I got to wait for nearly an hour and a half in the pharmacy with a fever and a baby (BECAUSE JASON WAS AT WORK) for my breast infection medication.

Now let’s talk numbers:

1/10/13 – My last day on antibiotics.

1/11/13 – The first day we skipped a play date because Ruby’s cold was too bad.

1/13/13 – The day JASON moved into his office AT WORK.

1/15/13 – The day I first came down with the flu. Embarrassing things went down on this day. Things I am too ashamed to write about. But if you’ve been reading this blog for awhile (and are familiar with my biggest challenge during a long run) you just might be able to figure it out. Fortunately, Jason was at home and awake for half of the day.

1/16/13 – The day Ruby’s fever spiked to 102 F.

1/17/13 – The day we (and by “we” I mean me, because JASON WAS AT WORK) found out Ruby had an ear infection.

1/18/13 – The day my inability to absorb nutrients caught up to me. The day my milk supply started to drop off, along with Ruby’s wet diapers. The day I got another plugged duct.

1/19/13 – And, just in time, I finally got over the flu.

1/20/13 – The day the old hip injury flared up. SOMEHOW. Even though I hadn’t even been running, this was the worst flare I’ve had since I pulled the muscle in 2007. I could barely walk. I couldn’t roll over in bed or pick up Ruby. I couldn’t pick up Ruby, and JASON WAS AT WORK.

1/22/13 – Ruby’s 6th day (of the prescribed 10) on antibiotics…

It was about 10:30 at night. I had just laid down in bed and opened my book. I was going to read a few pages before going to sleep. I couldn’t have read more than three words before I heard Ruby throwing up over the monitor.

So I got up. I did it. I went through the motions. I cleaned the floor and changed the sheets with a baby on my hip (the good hip) BECAUSE JASON WAS AT WORK. I rinsed out all our soiled clothes and threw them in the wash. Ruby and I sat down in our diaper and bra, respectively, and called the advice nurse.

I used the land line. The one we have just for emergencies. So we don’t have to worry about cell phone reception. And for a little while it worked. It wasn’t until after Ruby started throwing up again, this time down my bra, that we lost the connection.

And there we were. The advice nurse repeating, “Ms. Ratherthecouch? Ms. Ratherthecouch, can you hear me?” Ruby periodically taking a break from crying to eat a vomit chunk. And me. Screaming into the phone.

Friends, I thought this was the low. It wasn’t. More screaming went down this Saturday, 1/26/13. Only this time it was directed at Ruby.

But, again, I’m getting ahead of myself. Ruby threw up two more times after I got off the phone with the advice nurse Tuesday night. Then she threw up Wednesday night, and Thursday night. Multiple times. And all the while, JASON WAS AT WORK.

But then Friday came along and Jason was finally at home. So when Ruby threw up again Friday night it was okay, because I had help. Except for then the help started throwing up. AND THEN I STARTED THROWING UP.

So by the time Saturday morning came along, I was spent. I had the flu for the second time in less than two weeks. When I went to change Ruby’s diaper I found three things: diarrhea and two remaining wipes. OH MY GOD!!! WE WERE OUT OF WIPES! And Ruby would NOT. STOP. KICKING. So I yelled at her. I told her to stop. As if she were capable of following directions.

She didn’t cry, but I did. And we’re all still sick.

sickCredit

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23 thoughts on “Unhappy new year

      • No, don’t feel bad about yelling. At a similar moment, I left my child in his crib and walked around my building until I got my cool again. If yelling is going to prevent doing something worse, then yell.

  1. You’ll probably get a million comments like this, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true: this, too, will pass. You will survive this. Just get through the next ten minutes. Then worry about the ten after that.

    • Thanks… Hoping (of course) that it will pass sooner rather than later. But I suppose things are okay for this 10 minutes. Living in the moment = not one of my strengths.

    • OMG Sarah, I don’t know how you do it. This month has nearly killed the idea of more kids to me. I cannot comprehend having to take care of more than one sick child. Hope your Kaiser calls are done for the year.

  2. Uuuuuuuuuuggggh. This SUUUUUCKS. I can’t even imagine. I came down with the flu on 1/1. It was miserable, and that was without a puking baby to take care of.

  3. Oh Laura, what a miserable start to the year. The good news is that it can only get better! And I feel like I may have sent you a note one time saying that I scream at the boys when I am at my wits’ end (unfortunately this happens somewhat regularly). Loudly. And it typically ends with all of us crying. I say this to let you know you are far from alone, and its even harder when everyone is sick! When I come back to my senses, I remember what someone told me once – bad mommy moments don’t make bad mommies! Hope you all feel better soon, enjoy Jason’s 7 days off when they come 🙂

    • I hope you’re right Tifanie! I was thinking things could only get better when Jason got off work this Friday and things got worse instead. But, I mean really, they HAVE to get better from here, right???

      Anyway, your thoughts mean a lot. I seem to recall a recent Facebook
      status of yours that sounded pretty similar to this post. Hope Beckett’s feeling better and no one else caught it!

  4. I tried to comment from my phone a couple of days ago, but no dice.

    I just wanted to say that I am SO GLAD you post things like this. I hate when people act like Mommyhood is all cupcakes and sweetness and light. And I am grateful you were open about PPD, or else I may not have recognized those symptoms in myself and gotten help so quickly.

    Hope everything else gets better soon.

    • Ugh, I always have issues commenting from my phone too…

      Anyway, thank you so much for such a nice comment. I could probably stand to write about more of the parenting positives, but oh well. I’m glad I can at least remind other moms out there that they’re not alone. It can be so hard.

      Glad you were able to get help, give yourself permission to formula feed and are feeling better.

  5. I must be the mean commenter, and I don’t mean to be, I SWEAR… but this made me laugh so hard! And I know that you, too, will be browsing through your blogs a year or two or ten from now and you will laugh, just like I just did. Because it’s so awful! Laughably, horribly awful! I would have cried and yelled at my baby too, though, I can only laugh because I’m on the outside and have been through it myself, feel free to go back through my blog and laugh at any old horrible days I’ve had 🙂

    Sorry this is my first comment ever on your blog and I’m thinking your bad days are funny. I love hearing an honest mom, though – *sigh* – keep it real.

    • Oh no worries at all! I’m sure you’re stories are like 10,000 times more difficult than mine seeing as how you have 4 kids (more or less) under 5! You’ve earned the right to laugh!

      Thanks for stopping by! Looks like there’s another formerly Gus… blog I need to check out. 😉

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