HELP!!!

Just so you know, this post is going to be the antithesis of “good writing.”

Okay, you’ve been warned.

I need some advice on several completely unrelated topics:

1) Blog recommendations. A good childhood friend of mine is going through a difficult time… on many fronts. I am doing my best to support her and love her through it all. Although I can relate to her feelings, I can’t relate to her particular situation.

The blogging/social media circuit has been an incredible shoulder for me to lean on throughout my rendezvous with PPD and life in general. I just know there has to be a community out there that I can introduce her to. One that will make her feel less alone.

So I am looking for blogs (or Tweeters etc.) written by those recovering from drug and/or alcohol addiction.

2) Running app recommendations. I would like an app that tracks planned and actual runs. Something really simple is perfectly fine. I’d like to be able to see that I’m supposed to run, say, 2 miles on 3/1. And then that I actually ran zero… err, I mean 10 miles.

So probably something calendar-ish. It probably doesn’t even need to be a running app. I’m mostly interested in something like this for scheduling purposes. So I can look at my calendar and say, “Sure! My calendar’s wide open next Thursday! …Except for that 50* mile run I need to do! Phew! Good thing I installed that new app my bloggy friends told me about.”

3) Parenting advice. I’m having patience issues in two areas. The issue is that I have none. ZERO patience. And infinity amounts of guilt about my lack of patience.

First issue – Ruby throws a fit just about every time I try and change her diaper or clothes lately. Mostly what gets me is the kicking. Especially the kicking of me. In my boob. But I’m not really a fan of the rolling over, sitting up, knocking the white noise machine off the table either. How do I make this stop? (Besides trying to keep her entertained in a smiley way. Because, like I said, zero patience.)

Second issue – Throwing food on the floor. Aaaaahhh!!! Tips? Especially for the times she looks me right in the eye, slowly extends her arm and RELEASES.

4) Input on my hair. I’m getting bored. I need a new style. And I want something BOLD. I died my hair the bright red color seen here the morning of my wedding. (My hair stylist nearly had a nervous breakdown over that, by the way.) Well, I would like a hairSTYLE along those lines. Links to pics would be AWESOME. Anything short-short to medium length. And I am (you may want to have a seat Outlaw Mama) open to bangs.

5) Diaper bag recommendations. Just as soon as I decide to spend the money, I would like a diaper bag that looks like a real purse. It should be large and fabulous. Mostly I don’t want the exterior fabric looking too “wipeable.” You know what I mean.

Help please! Ready? GO!!!

*Of course I don’t have 50 mile runs on my training schedule. That’s ridiculous. I just needed a number that sounded big enough to fill up my entire day. Otherwise, you might think I should have just went ahead and made those plans I was considering. See?

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33 thoughts on “HELP!!!

  1. Well shoot I don’t have any answers to any of your questions SORRY!! But I too have some of the same questions you have.. The purse diaper bag being one of them and would love to see others answers. Good luck!!

  2. Laura. First of all, patience is a joke. She has simply figured out how to work things to her favor. Feeling guilty about not being patient – makes the irritability worse. Oh that’s right, you didn’t mention you may be irritable, take a wild guess how I know… Handsome thing 1 and gorgeous thing 2 that learned how to work me up from a very early age. Who wouldn’t be impatient when you’re doing everything in your life for your most important munchkin in the world and they kick you in the boob and throw food at you? That’s a fine thank you now isn’t it? Another time I’ll tell you of my corneal abrasion from the love of my life 2 year old while I was pregnant… I looked like a pregnant pirate – true story. My favorite book around that time if my life was, “I was a really good mom, before I had kids.”. If nothing else, it will make you giggle, reinforce that perfection is so not an ideal, that mom’s (all mom’s) screw up everyday and an amazing number of those kids grow up to be decent human beings! For some tactics… I may change her on the floor and do it as I could. (I know I know) however when you change her on the floor you can use your leg to hold down one of hers as you get her situated…. Again, ask me how I know ; ) much love cousin

    • Oh Lauren, thank you for such a wonderful comment. Irritable, ha! Yes… There is much of that. Thanks for the book recommendation. I’ll check it out. And I’ll give the floor a try for the diaper thing. If nothing else, she won’t be able to knock stuff on the floor.

  3. You do NOT want hair advice from me. Ever. Bangs are ok, but don’t do the fully sweeping forehead thing until you are sure. Sure sure sure. Diaperbag? Check Kate Spade. Pricey but they have decent sales and ohmygodIlovekatespade. Patience? I have none. I have to walk out of the room a lot b/c of the exact situations you described. My experience is that it passes, but it’s a bitch before it does. Good luck! AS for recovery blogs, I would check out RunningFromHellWithEl and also there’s a good one by someone named Elan something…Schmutzie…Damn. I’ll track it down.

  4. You should read “when did I get like this?” By amy wilson. It will make you laugh and feel better about your parenting.
    I like Love and Logic for legit parenting help – I read the book but several of my friends did the workshops and said they were amazing! Throwing food would be an “ah-oh! So sad snack-time is over!” In a nice voice followed by removal of the food after the first offense – can be hard bug it works.
    I don’t run so no advice there but good luck 🙂

    • Thanks for the recommendations! I’ve thought about the food removal thing… I’m torn because I also want to make sure she eats enough. But I guess I should just figure that if she were really hungry she would be putting it in her mouth.

  5. I’ll think about the other stuff, but I had to jump in on the patience advice. It sounds like she might be ready to get changed standing up. It’s a big Montessori thing and it has worked really well for us. I moved her changing pad to the floor so that if she has a poop that she really needs to lay down to wipe, I can wipe it there. But otherwise I just sit on the floor and she stands in front of me and we take her pants off, take her diaper off, wipe, new diaper, then she sits on my lap and we pull pants back on. And all getting dressed is done sitting or standing up. It gives her more of a feeling of control and they really like that. But since you’re down on the floor, you don’t have to worry if she decides to take a little stroll halfway through. Just let her and then resume. Montessori stuff is wonderful.

    I agree with Emily about the food throwing. I usually like to give two warnings, because expecting them to be perfect right away seems harsh. But I’d say, “Addie, it looks like you’re done with your food. If you’re not, then eat it instead of throwing it on the floor. Otherwise, I’ll take it away. This is your first warning.” Same thing second time. Then I say, “OK, I guess you’re done. We can eat more later if you decide you’re hungry.”

    • Thanks! Definitely will try the diaper thing. I have a feeling ruby will be a fan. I can tell she just doesn’t like laying in her back. I’ll be the one that has to adjust to putting a diaper on her while she’s standing up. Also, I went to Montessori preschool and would like to send ruby too.

  6. I can’t tell you how much I hate getting kicked in the boob, especially now that I’m nursing #2. I don’t have a fail safe here, but one thing that has decreased the number of fits is proper notice (and I think this goes along with Love and Logic, though I haven’t read it). We will tell him we are going to change his diaper in 5 minutes, remind him he has 3 minutes, then “in 1 minute we are going to change your diaper, do you want to pick out a little toy or book to hold/read while we change you?” Like I said, it works for us most of the time, but we still have the occasional fit. It does get better, but not for like 5 months when you can reason with them and timeout is an option. As for the food, I was grateful we had a dog, and then I went to a friend’s house for lunch and I was mortified. I like the “so sad, snack time is over” idea, and wish I’d done it earlier. Now we tell him he’s done eating when he puts his feet on the table (hate that move!), and it’s pretty effective. We are also trying to get rid of all the warnings because he knows the rules. And warnings seemed to he part of the problem, not the solution.

    Let us know if you find something that works. I’m sure I’ll need advice when #2 is strong enough to fight back. And sorry I have no insight on the other topics.

    • No apologies! Thanks for the help! It’s nice to know I’ll at least be able to reason with her a little in just 5 months. I was thinking that was like YEARS away.

  7. I used the NIKE running app when I was training for my half, but it’s not calendar-ish, so that might not be helpful.

    The diaper change thing: I feel you. I don’t know what to do other than to promise it’s just a phase. The throwing food thing is something Sonia does, too, and it is SOOOOOOO annoying. The only thing that helped me was, I looked it up online, and what I read was that they throw things as a way of testing out it’s texture, seeing which things land with a thud, which go splat, etc. Sonia is 16 months and STILL throwing food, and she started around Ruby’s age. I have no helpful hints on stopping it, but I do know it helps me to just stop and remember that she isn’t doing it to drive me nuts…even though it totally drives me nuts. haha Sometimes when it gets really bad, I just stop, take her out of the high chair and we try eating again later, but that’s usually only when it gets to the point of trying to dump her entire plate on the floor.

    Hair thing–I FEEL YOU. I have an appt on Monday to do something crazy. I will send you the pic of what I’m thinking of doing on Twitter. I’m putting purple in my hair. I think bangs could look cute on you. Maybe go a bold color, and like a really edgy style? The only hard part of edgy styles is they usually require more maintenance than moms have time for. lol

    • I LOVE that you’re adding purple to your hair!! I dyed my hair a light, bright red last time and really like it. I usually go with semi permanent because I’m really bad about maintenance, but they’re not as bright. So my roots look terrible right now, but I LOVE the color. So I’ll probably do that again.

      I really want to do an edgy style too this time around. I don’t usually get as adventurous with the cut… But you’re so right. They usually require more styling and I’m WAY TOO LAZY for that. So, we’ll see.

      LOVE the twitter pic! You’ll have to show us the finished product!

  8. It sounds like you’ve gotten tons of good advice on here but I’d just like to tell you that I have ZERO patience too, and I spend a lot of time yelling and pinning my children to the ground. Hey- not everyone can speak nicely and give warnings every time 😉 but mostly when I read the blurb about parenting I thought, “Yep, welcome to parenting.” Our sweet newborns turn into sweet babies and then into AWFUL TERRORS. Haha. Our solution to the food throwing was our dog! Jk, but it works. I wish we could have a play date so we could vent to each other! 🙂 good luck!!

      • Also, how is it that you don’t have any tips on hair and purses? You’re supposed to be better at that sort of thing than I am. I’m still planning on hiring you to be my personal shopper one day when we magically become super rich.

    • Sweet newborns?!?!?! Ruby was a nightmare when she was a newborn! HA!

      I wish we could have a play date too! And more than just a fly over three states and drive an hour for lunch sort of thing. You should really just move to Cali.

  9. I like the standing up idea for changing, might try that a bit, although Kendra still has two or three nasty poops a day lately. I have not used a changing table since Leah was a baby, we just use the floor and the diapers are right by the books, so she will usually pick out a book before diapers. She likes getting her own diaper and wipes now too and putting her diaper in the pail. She does throw fits though and has kicked me in the stomach, so fun. And the food thing… Hummm… I sometimes use it as entertainment! So I might not be much help! It is easier to cook dinner when she is contained and throwing food on the floor rather than her between my legs screaming! And we have a dog to pick up the big chunks. I think it is just important that no mater how smart they seems, they really aren’t trying to piss us off on purpose. They are just figuring out their boundaries and life in general. During meals if Kendra throws food or her temper flairs it is usually ‘bummer, your must not be hungry’ and I remove her or the food. If I think she is actually hungry I will give her a second chance.

    Diaper bag, head to Penny’s or another department store and get a big purse. For the most part you can still wipe them clean and it isn’t like you will be spending a huge fortune on it so you can replace it every year or less.

    • Kicked in the stomach?? You mean, you’re getting it from both sides now??

      I’m beginning to realize that an official diaper bag probably isn’t necessary… just as long as it’s big enough and there are enough pockets.

  10. I can only really try to help with the part A of parenting advice. I gave up changing the kid on the changing table months ago. He also kicks and screams like I’m cutting his leg off. I have tried a couple of methods:

    1. Learned how to change his diaper while he’s standing up, so he is distracted by other activities while I get down to business. This works pretty well for wet diapers and not-too-messy poops. Putting the new diaper on while standing takes some practice but can be done. Also ideal for public restrooms without changing tables.

    2. I’ve moved his changing pad on the floor. When he’s changed, I have a toy/sippy cup/book at the ready. I toss him on the changing pad (literally-he giggles and loves it) and before he realizes he’s on his back I throw a leg over his middle (to keep him pinned) and hand him the toy. While he’s distracted with this new predicament and, “oh look, a toy!” I can get him changed. If he becomes aware of my evil plot to remove the poop (which he usually does) and starts crying and squirming, my leg has him firmly pinned and he can’t kick me in the boob.

  11. I have tried pretty much every running app out there and I would suggest runkeeper, as it includes the features you ask. It also has free training programs and a calendar view for future workouts. But what happened to your garmin? You can just use garmin connect for these things you mentioned.

    I would love to cut my hair a very short uneven bob-like cut with bangs and dye them a pretty bright black/purple hue. Does this sound pretty bold to you? 🙂

    • So I still have the Garmin and I use Garmin connect on my computer but I didn’t think there was an app that went along with it, or the ability to input a training plan onto a calendar. Is there? I could be wrong… I have been thinking that its really weird that there isn’t an app that goes with the Garmin watches. In any event the battery has been crapping out lately. Not sure if its because I’ve gone long stretches without charging it and all I need to do is give it a “good, long” charge, or if I can buy a new battery or what. I ended up buckling and buying RunMeter for $5. I’m still figuring it all out but so far seems pretty good.

      As for the hair, that does sound bold and also I LIKE IT! You’re thinking of doing that yourself, right? I say go for it!

      • oh no, I guess I was too late in commenting. There is an app that goes with garmin, it’s called garmin fit and I think it’s $1 or something like that. Apart from that, there are plans and you can plan workouts yourself, and set goals and all sorts of fancy stuff. Theoretically, I know all these things. If only I had the motivation to use them 😛

        I am thinking about the haircut. Most probably with the first paycheck because these things are expensive. To be honest, I am hesitant because I feel I am too large to pull it off and I will look like a giant snowman..

  12. To help a friend struggling with addiction, I would recommend Heather King’s blog, the Extraordinary Ordinary and Ellie of One Crafty Mother. These women are brilliiant.

    I am still getting beat up by the two year old. She is in a physical phase right now. We just keep putting her in time out and reminding her to use her words. Hugs.

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