Everybody’s growing

It has been so long since I wrote. If I had a nickel for every time I started a post with THAT sentence…

You know how sometimes there just isn’t enough time to cover all the stuff over lunch with your officemate? I mean the gossipy stuff, of course. Nothing work related. But you get together with an old, dear friend for dinner and there’s nothing to say? Because there’s too much to say.

That’s kind of what this feels like. There’s too much to say.

To begin with, I’m over my post partum mood disorder(s). OVER IT. That does not mean I’m, say, RELAXED about life. But my big, crazy thing is gone. Looking back on the whole ordeal is a bit surreal. Of course I couldn’t see it for what it was in the thick of it. But now… Well, I’m AWESTRUCK by the power of the brain. The realization that I do not have full control of my mind is incredibly terrifying, humbling and magnificent.

Of course, the whole experience completely changed me. And I mean that genuinely. Not in a cliché, floofy writing kind of way. Yes, becoming a parent changed me. But the extra side of crazy that came along with my transition to parenthood changed me about 1000 times more. In a good way. I’m more compassionate, empathetic, accepting and brave. I feel good about who I’ve become.

I’ve been working since July. At a job that pays me that is. And I like it. It’s not perfect. But no job is, and for the most part I’m happy with it. I actually like working quite a bit more now than I did before Ruby was born. For a lot of reasons I think. It’s a break. Something different than watching an infant. A good balance. My expectations are more realistic, and (remember that part about how) I’m different. The new me is working better for me at work.

And little Ruby is growing. Hard to believe, right? She’s 20 months now and becoming more of a person every day. She’s SO MUCH COOLER now than when she was a little baby. She’s learning to talk, and it’s my favorite part of parenting so far. Just the other day she said:

Mommy. I love you. Thanks for all your hard work.

No. She definitely did not say that. But she does say, “Mommy poopy too.” ALL. THE. TIME.




8 thoughts on “Everybody’s growing

  1. So glad to see this post. I’m so much more compassionate now since going through ppd and ppa. Our house is all about the poopy talk. The 6 year old thinks its hilarious and the 3 year old has finished potty training. All her preschool classmates are still training. Ruby is adorable.

    • Thanks! 🙂 Ruby is really into the family right now. So she talks about how everyone does the things she does. Like… “Daddy poopy. Ruby poopy. Nana poopy. Pappy poopy. Mommy poopy too.” It’s pretty cute. Ha!

  2. Great to hear from you again! I had just stopped by yesterday to check if you had updated, but I was a bit early. Must’ve felt a stir in the blog force that you were working on a new post.

    I hear you on toddlers being so much cooler than babies. Squish is way more fun to hang out with now, too. He’s still not really talking, except for saying “no”. He’s got that one down. Once we start to communicate for real I imagine it’ll be a whole new level of coolness.

    • Wow, crazy! You must be psychic! And Ruby’s “talking” is still very basic. And mostly only I can understand what she’s trying to say. I think we have a ways to go before we can, like, have a conversation.

  3. I’m so happy to hear that you’re doing better. I know how hard it is to see clearly when you’re in it, and how wonderful it feels when you get out of it. And you know I agree that babies get cooler when they get older!!

  4. I’m SO happy that you’ve reached the happy side of parenting! Please write an autobiography bc I’d love to pick your brain. K thanks. Ruby is so cute, and after you complaining that she wouldn’t nap anywhere but your boob, I am now so jealous that at 20 months she will fall asleep ON you in public! My girls have to be at home in their beds and I hate it- but that’s what I train them to do, ha! Anyway- so glad she’s talking. Make sure to take lots of videos of her saying adorable things like, “mommy poopy too” because it’s so fun to watch them later. (When they’re 4 and annoying) Oops, did I just say that? 🙂

    • Don’t worry Kari. That nap was an exceptional case, even for Ruby. We flew to Michigan the day before that wedding. She basically didn’t nap at all & wouldn’t sleep in the hotel room. So she was EXHAUSTED the next day. Finally crashed during the wedding ceremony. Which worked out perfectly!

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