I realized this week that the cashews I’ve been eating, oh, EVERY DAY have rice bran in them. Even Ollie couldn’t stop crying when we figured this out. So that was just the perfect soundtrack to go along with my failure: screaming baby.
I don’t know how I missed this. I’ve been so hyper vigilant, reading labels like they’re my Twitter feed. I even emailed my friend to ask about the ingredients in the hamburgers they will be grilling at her son’s birthday party.
Friends, I’ve read the Whole30 Q&A. I saw the answer to that question about, “Do I need to start over if I accidentally eat something off plan?” The Hartwigs may say yes, but do you know what I say?
Fuck you rice bran! No! I am not starting over!
Thanks, and sorry Mom. I needed to get that off my chest.
Things have been going alright, aside from the rice bran catastrophe. My gut is still lining out, but I have not had a c diff reoccurrence. My mood is still on a bit of a roller coaster, but hey, this is me we’re talking about.
I can tell I’ve lost weight. I don’t know how much since, per the Whole30 rules, I have not weighed myself. But enough that I was able to swap my jean inventory. My skinny jeans are now in the closet and my maternity wear and fat pants are in the probably giveaway because I’ll never get around to organizing that garage sale box. My skinny jeans are not especially comfortable yet, but I can stuff my thighs in and button all but one pair.
The other sort of notable thing happening is the throwing up. On Ollie’s part. Throw up, spit up. It’s hard to tell the difference at the wee age of 3 months. Mainly the volume has increased dramatically. Also I seem unable to completely drain a breast. Which means my letdown is pretty forceful and Ollie’s having a hard time with this. She almost won’t nurse on the left side.
So I’m left pondering… Is she sick and not eating as much? She seems otherwise quite well, in good spirits, feverless and excreting waste on schedule. Is she allergic to something I ate? I can’t think of anything new I added in the last week. Is she just gagging herself? This is partially to blame I think; she’s always chewing on her fingers. But it doesn’t explain why my breasts are so full.
OR, has my milk supply increased now that I’m off antibiotics and eating a nutrient rich diet. I suspect/hope this is it. Ruby did spit up SO MUCH more than Ollie has until now. I thought the girls were just different, but perhaps I didn’t even realize my milk supply was down while sick. It kind of makes sense, right?