Ruby Tuesday: Nothing to report

The other day Elsha accused me of being the opposite of the braggy mom. You know the one who claims her baby is talking the first time she babbles a, “Mama.” Or boasts that her baby is sleeping through the night after one 5 hour stint. Because that is the medical definition of sleeping through the night, after all.

And I suppose she’s right. As much as I would like to claim humility on this one, I think it has more to do with my anxiety. Admitting that Ruby is actually making developmental progress means that my crazy, irrational fears are just that – crazy and irrational. And I’m not quite ready to accept that.

An impartial observer may advertise that Ruby started lifting her stomach and butt off the ground this week.

baby-push-up

But it’s only for like a second at a time. So I’m most definitely NOT counting this. Which means I have no material for this week’s Ruby Tuesday episode. Sorry folks.

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Ruby’s take on intervals

Last night, as I was plotting the course for Mommy Run Fast’s Labor Day 5 Mile Virtual Run, I was suddenly and unexpectedly overcome by loneliness. I’m still not quite sure why. Maybe because today’s run wasn’t just any old run; it was a race. Maybe because Jason’s been working all weekend. Who knows? Whatever the reason, I decided I needed a running partner. Like bad.

But, as I mentioned, Jason was working, and GreekMelie was too lazy to drive across California to join me. I had no choice but to resort to the one person who’s seemingly incapable of turning down an invitation of mine – the baby.

The two of us agreed that we should drive out to Walnut Creek for the run. So it would feel more like a race. Walnut Creek has a bunch of lovely, paved trails that become heavily populated on the weekend. A busy trail would be a nice substitute for the community of a race, right? (And, yes, in this case lovely pretty much means flat.)

The only problem was Ruby and I did not discuss race strategy. I was sort of planning on running the whole thing at a moderately slow and even pace. Ruby, however, hasn’t really been focusing on endurance. She was more interested in an interval workout. Specifically:

1) Run a quarter mile as fast as possible (i.e. not very fast).

2) Stop, stretch and cuddle.

3) Smile at and greet passing runners, walkers, bikers etc. Ensure all were aware of the loving and caring nature of our relationship.

4) Test vocal chords with bloodcurdling screams and cries when running was recommenced.

5) Brainstorm conversation topics for future therapy sessions. For example: Am I, in fact, a negligent mother for running so much? Avoid making eye contact with strangers for fear of what they were thinking.

6) Repeat.

Ugh, what an exhausting run! And I’m not referring to the unplanned fartlek. We wrapped it up in 56:59 (cuddles included) and got the hell out of there!

baby-jogging-stroller

This picture is included only (1) for the sake of having a picture in the post and (2) because it’s sort of related. It was clearly taken another day since Ruby is not having a meltdown in the photo. No, I did not take a picture of said meltdown. Feel free to compliment me on the generosity of my parenting in this instance.

Perhaps more embarrassing than the last photo I posted

Mitt-Romney-Acceptance-Speech

Did anyone else out there watch Mitt Romney’s acceptance speech? Remember that part where he said of his wife, “I knew that her job as a mom was harder than mine. And I knew without question, that her job as a mom was a lot more important than mine.”

Well, Jason followed that with, “See.”

And I started to cry. What a cheap ploy for my vote.

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